Drowning Soul

The moments flow by as I lay here
with the moon’s caressing glow shining
gently on my restless soul.. beautiful,
unreal, yet here I am, yearning, longing
to embrace this aura, to breathe it.
I want to feel its waves, those calming
snowflakes dancing on my soul..
they glide on my eyes, slowly melting..

A cool breeze brushes past my neck,
whispering in my ears, bringing a mist
of the divine essence before me.
It is the color of my dreams. My deepest
desires before me, transparent for all to see.

The lights continue to dazzle, but I remember..
I remember each time as I draw near
that I am bounded, held back by the ropes
of friendship, of loyalty, ..of fear,
but my heart betrays me and reaches for the light.
My mind struggles, trying to regain
control, pulling me away from the cool surface.
Shuddering, I turn around but stop at the pain.

My heart will not let go of the aura, begging..
begging to be left behind, unwilling to return
to the shadows from where it came. I feel the searing
wound bite into my chest. Resolve faltering, my lungs
fill with that dangerous aura. I’m coughing.. crying..

I didn’t want to feel.. I shouldn’t feel..
but everyone wishes, everyone hopes that
dreams come true. My mind has lost, but
I want you to know that I tried to stay out.

Now I’m drowning, what have I gotten myself into?
Please forgive me, I’m sorry.. I love you.